This Is A Pet Peeve Of Mine!

This Vehicle Is NOT, 

I repeat, 

A compact Car!!!!!

Pretty funny, Eh?

I Heart San Francisco

I took this a few days ago...

 

 A Guy With A Blind Cane Texting On BART

I Have A Stalker!!

I am terribly sorry for not posting anything in over a month. 

It turns out I have a stalker. 

I can't really go into the details, but I felt uncomfortable publishing excerpts from my life with someone waiting for incriminating evidence to bring me down, so to speak. 

However, I don't care anymore...she's the one going off the deep end!

Is This A New Thing?

Is it me or are the bike paths getting bigger?

Steiner Going Towards Oak Right Past Page.

Really?

This is on the corner of my block!

What's the point of tagging a mattress that is left out in the street?

When the Bough Breaks

I am supposed to be writing my article for Today's Vintage about decorating baby nurseries with vintage furniture.

I seem to be stuck...I am not really a baby person, what can I say about it. "Um, lead paint wasn't banned in the US until 1978 and that really cute metal crib painted white will probably kill your kid, either slowly by lead poisoning or quickly by strangulation when his head gets caught between the really cool looking wrought iron bars on all sides of the crib."

I did however, find lots of ways to totally deck out a kid's room without trying to kill it. My problem is I have too many different ideas and now my head is spinning and I have no clue which direction to go in.

Christmas With The Goldfarbs

I feel compelled to do a type of recap of my life as a post on this blog, because I haven't written anything for almost two weeks. However, that type of literal writing simply isn't my style. I mean, I take great pains to make sure everything I write is clear, concise, and easy to read. However, simply listing or recounting the things I have done, seen, and experienced on such a public arena seems like an exercise in masturbation and boredom. Two places one gets to that shouldn't require very much work.

I have been with my family and friends in the Los Angeles area since December 21st and having a great time. The weather is perfect and I am visiting all of the people and friends I had planned to see. I love my parents, they are like little kids, always a lot of fun. However, how do you know, if your parents are getting Alzheimer's, if they are eccentric in the first place? What, if growing up your Mom or Dad used to stand at the back door (everyday for thirty years) trying every key on the key chain, before finding the right one, even though that door was never kept locked? If they never recognized their house key when they were in their prime, then what are the signs to look for now they are old? What if my Mom always ate ice cream sandwiches for breakfast in the summer? Do we think she might be losing it, if she starts eating them in the winter or at a different time of day?

I love coming home no matter what, because it makes me see clearly how much I am loved and missed, by these crazy people I call my family and friends. Is a marriage over when your husband is addicted to phone sex, cyber sex, and real life sex with other women? Is it OK to call the guy you are having sex with your boyfriend, even though he spends days like Christmas, New Year's, and his birthday with other women?  My three year old cousin squealed uncontrollably when she saw a present for her wrapped in purple and pink sparkly wrapping paper.

I am going back home to San Francisco on Saturday and I can't wait to see my cat and the guy I made out with right before I left. I hope they are just as happy to see me as I am to see them.

Ug, Parking In San Francisco

This is a very cute video that wants the viewer to think that it is about how to solve the parking problem in San Francisco. However, it is quite clear that IBM's ingenious new idea is another way for the city to enforce even stricter methods in regard to parking meters in order to justify issuing more tickets.

This great new idea involves smart phones, which bothers me twice. People with cheap phones or (heaven forbid) no cell phones, won't get the breaks. Plus the fact that, if this is the wave of the future, there will be yet another reason for drivers to pay less attention to the road than their phones.

Check It Out!

That is an Xray of my foot (not the toe) between the ankle and the base of the big toe.

A stainless steel screw was inserted. Can you see where they cut the bone?

What More Do You Want?

 

I don't know who took the picture I found it online

Nazi Trash

A friend of mine just came back from Europe and showed me over 600 pictures she took. They were all fantastic, but I really liked this one. I believe it was taken in Switzerland. I had no idea there was much of a Nazi problem these days in Switzerland or anywhere for that matter.

Nazi Trash (Photo by Annabelle Port)

Write About Porn To Get Hits

In the last couple of days this blog received hundreds of hits. Normally, I am lucky if I get over six people in one day clicking on my blog and most of those are my friends.

A couple of days ago I wrote about being spammed by a sex cam site. I didn't write about porn or even the site. I simply talked about the stupid emails the porn site sends out. So, now I have a bunch of pervs checking out my blog. Geesh!

Four Weeks And Two Days After Surgery

This time the bandage was on for two weeks.

It looks to me like the incisions are healing well and my big toe could not be straighter.

I just can't wait to wash my foot.

This is Kidra, Dr. Donatto's Assistant who made special socks for me that go over the bandage and mailed them to me when I accidentally left them there.

Secret Blog for Lynnore

OK, I got this today. Do people really fall for this shit or do men just see this and think, Oh goodie another porn site?

I think this whole set up is rather interesting. For instance, the subject in the email header is somewhat personal, but then it is sent to undisclosed-recepients. The whole thing reads so ridiculous. First it starts with an email with instructions to click over to a private blog letter made especially for me, and then in the blog letter I am directed to click on a website that might ask for my credit card number and birth date.

As I kept reading and it got stupider and stupider, I kept imagining the worst about the web site. In my mind it went from a phone sex site to weird looking men with small heads, pursed lips, and squinty eyes holding their big dicks in their hands. I was eating breakfast when I read my private blog letter just for me, yogurt to be exact, so I was a little apprehensive about going to the site.  However, to my dismay when I finally clicked over to the website it was just a sex cam site with women. I think I would have been turned off if it was men, but I was still disappointed, mostly because it is just the same old crap.

    From:     young5above81955@aol.com
    Subject:     Lynnore i hope this isnt a mistake
    Date:     December 3, 2009 2:25:24 AM PST
    To:     undisclosed-recipients:;

Hi Lynnore.....
I'm not guaranteed if Im still going to submit this email, although I must write it or Ill go crazy....I dont understand how else to mention this.... I have a crush on u. been thinking about you always and Im petrified to let out my feelings to you...youll know why if you knew who this is. I may regret this another day, though I think I should to tell you now. I posted a private blog letter for you ...here it is
hidden blog for Lynnore
I truely believe I'm not making a terrible decision but after planning this I know I have to click Send

Secret Blog for Lynnore

LAST UPDATED: TODAY

Lynnore...
If you're reading this I guess you got my e-mail. I'm still not completely sure about this but I can't hide my feelings any longer. I want you to guess who I am and approach me yourself. To help you out with your guessing I made a few pictures and videos with Lynnore written on my body. Theyre kind of risque photos so I had to make a profile at http://www.newfriendly.com and post them there. My username in the members area is ILuvLynnore09. Its a free website but you might need a CC or Debit to verify your age because I had to. Sigh. But anyway sign up at http://www.newfriendly.com and once you are inside search for me. I want you to guess who I am and then approach me yourself. Im shy and this is the bravest thing Ive probably ever done but you need to do the rest.
POSTED BY SECRET ADMIRER

Sarah Handicap (Curb Your Enthusiasm)

I couldn't believe it when the nurse at the state of the art Presidio Surgery Center, who had swiped the fancy wand across my forehead to take my temperature and showed me the tropical scene on the fluorescent light fixtures overhead, handed me a pair of crutches right out of the dark ages. I think the United States and some third world countries are the only ones that still use the underarm crutch. All over Europe and Canada the forearm or elbow crutch is standard.

                              Tiny Tim, holding a crutch against his armpit

As soon as I could, I started looking for the forearm crutches on line. There are not a lot available here in the US. Most of them are very ugly and instantly evoke images of polio survivors or the kids with hip problems who used them like two canes, walking  with a swivel and a side to side type of gait. Crutches have come a long way since Dickens' Tiny Tim and a time when we would just call anyone who had a walking problem a cripple. However, you wouldn't know it, if you aren't able to walk with both legs here in the good ol' U S of A.

American Forearm Crutches

(Only come in grey)

Sunday, my friend Smithy decided I needed to get the hell off of my couch and out of my house. She doesn't have a car, so we were going on this field trip with her driving my car, for the first time. Once she adjusted the seat, mirrors, checked everything out, and pulled the car around to the top of the driveway and I very clumsily sat down and shoved the crutches in the back seat, we were off. But, we didn't know where to go or what to do. So, after a lot of "what do you want to do," "I don't know, what do you want to do(s)" we went with our old standby, the beach. Half way there I decided I wanted to just go to the movies, because it seemed easier.

 

European Forearm Crutch

(Come in many colors, but very expensive)

What a joke! First, when Smithy pulled up to the curb (about 8" away) I couldn't figure out how to negotiate the gap with my crutches, so I made her get closer and that helped. I hobbled over to the box office in West Portal, while trying not to get bumped by the minefield of people walking all around me like Zombies, mindlessly talking on their cell phones. I finally got in line and I had to wait on an incline, which is not easy to do standing on one leg with crutches under each arm. A slight breeze or brush from a cell phone talking Zombie would have knocked me over.

Once I got the tickets and made it inside I waited for Smithy. It took quite a bit of time for her to find a parking space. Soon after she got inside, the ticket girls (there were three) gestured to the theater and Smithy noticed the steep little staircase entering the theater itself. She pointed to the stairs and I freaked. There was no way I could get up those stairs, not to mention how the hell I was going to go down them. I asked the oblivious ticket girls if that was the only way in and why they didn't tell me about it. They said "yeah" and that they didn't have to tell me, because on a small sign posted on the box office window that lists the movies, I am supposed to look for the little wheelchair icon and if there isn't a wheelchair next to the theater, then it is not handicap accessible. I guess they have never been on crutches...Assholes!

By the time Smithy came back with the car and I fell in it, I just wanted to go home. However, Smithy wasn't going for that and we ended up at The Century 20 Theaters in Daly City. The people working there were much nicer and the ticket guy reassured me that there weren't any stairs, just an escalator and an elevator. I chose the elevator. Of course, the theater we needed to get to was the furthest out of twenty. Oh, and the handicap seats are basically in the front row. However, I got used to the seats real fast. I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend staring at George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Kevin Spacey for an hour and a half, when you feel like shit.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

FRANKENFOOT

Surgery went well and I think my foot looks pretty good. However, I was very disappointed when the bandages were removed and I could plainly see that the Dr. didn't fix the hammer toe, right next to the big toe. I freaked out, but he reassured me that it will be fixed. He explained that the big fix was the bunion and the hammer toe will only take 15 minutes with a local and I'd be able to walk on it the same day. Unfortunately, that won't be done until this is healed in two months. He also told me that I will be using crutches for two months.

Check out the pictures, he had to cut into three different places on my foot. I believe bones were broken, rotated, shaved, and pushed into the correct places.

One Week After Surgery

Bruising By The Ankle

The View From My Doctor's Office

Kidra Taking Off The Bandages

Kidra Getting Closer

No Swelling

The Yellow is the Adhesive, the Purple Marks Incisions, The Red is Blood

He Forgot To Fix The Hammer Toe
(The purple on the big toe is bruising from the bandage being too tight)

Match.com and Second Life

I hadn't talked to one of my friends for a long time, so when I called her, I asked her if she's seeing anyone. I loathe asking anyone that question, especially a woman who is in her forties or older. I mostly do it as a manipulative ploy. That way we don't have to talk about me and my singleness, at least not right away. She said she's still dabbling in on line dating. I tried Match.com three years ago with terrible, but not surprising results. I feel I am single, because I just seem to meet men who don't really do it for me for one reason or another. So, basically being on Match.com meant I just had to deal with a bigger pool of men I didn't want to know.

I hear a lot of crazy stories from my friends about the men they meet on line. My friend (I had mentioned at the top if this post) told me a few more weird stories. One about how the guy (on the third date) went on and on about his interactions with his fellow employees. I think I had blurted out, "bor-ring!" She replied, "Maybe, but he doesn't know his fellow workers, he telecommutes. He's never even met them. He doesn't even know what some of them look like." But that's not even the crazy story.

She told me that she set up a date with a guy that looked and sounded great, kind of George Clooney-esque with steely blue eyes. The date couldn't have gone better, he was even better looking in person, very charming and interesting. Basically, she said she was immediately smitten by her date. I don't even know how he told her, but somehow it was apparent that he was looking for a girlfriend to have in his virtual reality called Second Life. He said she would be a really cute avatar. He thought they were perfect together and could have a great romance in the game.

Seriously, and I was starting to buy into all the crap I hear. That I am single, because I don't try hard enough to snare a man. If I sign up for collagen injections, plastic surgery, and Brazilian wax jobs I would not be single.

Don't worry kiddies, I haven't given up all hope. Now, not only can us single women enlarge the pool of losers we already have to chose from by signing up for Match.com, Salon.com, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony, Facebook, Myspace, MatureSinglesOnly.com, and Cupid.com we can expand it infinitely more, by looking for men in a whole other world, one that doesn't even exist. I can't wait until we can start looking for our soul mates on another planet! Or better yet why do we have to stick to our own solar system or galaxy for that matter? Remember girls, the sky's the limit!

Even Monkeys Don't Like Cheating

I found this online at http://markarayner.com/archives/399

Hot Flashes And Dating

My friends wonder why I am not dating or even really trying. Last week, while I was snapping pictures at an art opening a handsome, well dressed, and well mannered guy (I actually thought was attractive) started talking to me. I was really flattered, but found it very difficult to have much of a conversation. Right when I realized he was flirting with me I had a severe hot flash, but I couldn't take my coat off, because I had a crappy top on underneath. So, I kept looking away, secretly wiping my face. At some point he tried to get closer to me, but then I had a hard time focusing on his face, because I couldn't figure out which part of my lenses to look through. My new glasses are trifocals, not bifocals, trifocals. So, I started squinting and then remembered I had some cheese at the last opening and took the breath test (right in front of him) and then made a face, like it was bad. I wasn't sure what was worse, having bad breath or him knowing that I had just realized I had bad breath.

When I gave him my number (I know that's hard to believe) he told me he was leaving town and won't be back until Christmas and he will call me then. We'll see, I'm not holding my breath. Actually on second thought maybe I should spare a few innocent souls and hold it after all.

Really?

Are men so homophobic they would risk their lives just so they won't have to hold onto another (gasp) man while riding on the back of a motorcycle? Basic physics tells us that leaning back and not holding onto anything or merely a strap or bar that is located behind the passenger, will promote a more bumpy ride with an increased vulnerability to falling off than leaning into the driver. When the passenger leans into the driver they are working with the (forward) motion of the bike. Not to mention they have something to hold on to i.e., the driver.

Living in San Francisco, I see quite a bit of people riding motorcycles and scooters when I'm out and about in the city. I am noticing more and more that the passengers don't seem to be holding on to anything. Albeit, the last time I rode on the back of a bike I nearly cut the driver in half, because I was squeezing his waist so hard, but to not hold on at all or just hold on to the back of the bike seat with one hand? That seems ludicrous.

I haven't been in the position to take pictures of any of this, so I started looking for some online. I found a few, but what I found a lot of were websites and blogs dedicated to instructing people on how to ride on the back of a bike. I was very relieved to see so much information on the subject. However, to my dismay these were the types of things I found. This shit is all over the Internet.

I do not agree with this at all!!!

The following is from the website Instructables (Pay special attention to step 3)

introBeing safe as a pillion passenger on a motorbike. 

step 1For starters...

Before you get on ask the driver if they want you to put your feet down at the lights etc. It's actually a serious point, if they can balance with the extra weight most wil…

step 2Getting on.

Let the rider get on and get themselves set up, don't get on until they've shifted the bike to somewhere they're ready to leave from, ride-arounds are hell with a pillion p…

step 3Now you're moving.

So once you're moving there is that whole business of staying on the bike... Lock your arms behind you or beside you, this stops you tilting back when accelerating and tak…

step 4The other bits.

When it's windy it can be a bit unnerving to be coming over a bridge at 60mph and suddenly be hit by gusts of wind, try not to react to these and give the rider any extra c…

step 5Little extras and good ideas.

Things that will be of help: - Gloves, a decent pair should keep you from freezing to the bike... - A proper motorbike jacket is a plus for protection during crashes an…

Are you kidding me?

After reading step 3, step 4 seems ridiculous. How can you not react to being hit by a gust of wind going over a bridge at 60mph? Whether you like it or not if you are sticking out away from the driver and leaning back you will probably get knocked off of the bike or at least lose balance and cause the bike to react, which could lead to an accident driving on a bridge at high speeds. Weeee!