Monday, November 30, 2009

I Am Adding A New Category To This Blog!

I need to have a space to document the facts and run commentary regarding the bitches and assholes who are my neighbors. I am not sure what to call it. OK, how about The Bitches and Assholes Driving Me Crazy? The title might need some fine tuning.

I live in an apartment that was once a single family house that had been split into three units with one upstairs and two downstairs. Later, the apartments were turned into condos. Two women D and K live upstairs. One of them (D) owns the upstairs flat and K acquired the apartment next to mine downstairs with her two sisters and brother about four years ago. K rents the two bedroom apartment out to three people C, A, and J. My apartment is owned by a different woman who is independent from them.

(No Photo Credit)

Everything was great until four years ago when it was decided that since they owned two-thirds of the property they will pretend they own all of it. Because of this lopsided circumstance the couple upstairs and the tenants next to me can do what ever they want, but if I do anything besides breath, all hell breaks loose. My landlady is very young and doesn't want trouble so she just lets them run right over me and K and D are perfectly happy with that arrangement.

The last time I talked with D (the woman who owns the upstairs flat) she told that she is trying to get me to move out. I never really felt comfortable with writing about this on my blog before, but I changed my mind once she copped to harassing me. So, basically this new category will document all of the harassment. This way I will have a place to vent my frustrations and the documentation I'll need when I take them to court.

Monday, November 23, 2009

David Sedaris On The Daily Show

 I didn't see this when it was on June 3, 2008.
It's an interview with Jon Stewart promoting David Sedaris' book When You Are Engulfed in Flames.

Check it out!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
David Sedaris

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor
Health Care Crisis

David Sedaris' New Audio Book On Vinyl

This is an article from the New York Times. Click on the link to read the entire post.

Popular Author’s Audiobook Tries a New Format: Vinyl

Published: November 22, 2009

As physical formats and devices have shrunk, revenues for the audiobook industry have grown, since it is more convenient to listen to an iPod while exercising and commuting than fiddling with CDs. Digital downloads grew to 21 percent of the industry’s total sales in 2008, from 6 percent in 2004, according to the Audiobook Publishers Association.

It is all the more odd, then, that Hachette Audio recently announced that the latest audiobook by David Sedaris, “Live for Your Listening Pleasure,” which features readings before audiences, would be available on the least portable of formats: vinyl.
Reminiscent of Blue Note albums from the 1950s and 1960s, the cover features a photograph of a woman sprawled on a white shag rug with a come-hither look, albums strewn about. More...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Stitches Are Out!

I just had the stitches removed yesterday.
(The purple is from the pen the Dr. used to mark the incisions. It's not permanent.)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sarah Handicap (Curb Your Enthusiasm)

I couldn't believe it when the nurse at the state of the art Presidio Surgery Center, who had swiped the fancy wand across my forehead to take my temperature and showed me the tropical scene on the fluorescent light fixtures overhead, handed me a pair of crutches right out of the dark ages. I think the United States and some third world countries are the only ones that still use the underarm crutch. All over Europe and Canada the forearm or elbow crutch is standard.

Tiny Tim on his crutch.
                              Tiny Tim, holding a crutch against his armpit

As soon as I could, I started looking for the forearm crutches on line. There are not a lot available here in the US. Most of them are very ugly and instantly evoke images of polio survivors or the kids with hip problems who used them like two canes, walking  with a swivel and a side to side type of gait. Crutches have come a long way since Dickens' Tiny Tim and a time when we would just call anyone who had a walking problem a cripple. However, you wouldn't know it, if you aren't able to walk with both legs here in the good ol' U S of A.

American Forearm Crutches
(Only come in grey)

Sunday, my friend Smithy decided I needed to get the hell off of my couch and out of my house. She doesn't have a car, so we were going on this field trip with her driving my car, for the first time. Once she adjusted the seat, mirrors, checked everything out, and pulled the car around to the top of the driveway and I very clumsily sat down and shoved the crutches in the back seat, we were off. But, we didn't know where to go or what to do. So, after a lot of "what do you want to do," "I don't know, what do you want to do(s)" we went with our old standby, the beach. Half way there I decided I wanted to just go to the movies, because it seemed easier.
European Forearm Crutch
(Come in many colors, but very expensive)

What a joke! First, when Smithy pulled up to the curb (about 8" away) I couldn't figure out how to negotiate the gap with my crutches, so I made her get closer and that helped. I hobbled over to the box office in West Portal, while trying not to get bumped by the minefield of people walking all around me like Zombies, mindlessly talking on their cell phones. I finally got in line and I had to wait on an incline, which is not easy to do standing on one leg with crutches under each arm. A slight breeze or brush from a cell phone talking Zombie would have knocked me over.

Once I got the tickets and made it inside I waited for Smithy. It took quite a bit of time for her to find a parking space. Soon after she got inside, the ticket girls (there were three) gestured to the theater and Smithy noticed the steep little staircase entering the theater itself. She pointed to the stairs and I freaked. There was no way I could get up those stairs, not to mention how the hell I was going to go down them. I asked the oblivious ticket girls if that was the only way in and why they didn't tell me about it. They said "yeah" and that they didn't have to tell me, because on a small sign posted on the box office window that lists the movies, I am supposed to look for the little wheelchair icon and if there isn't a wheelchair next to the theater, then it is not handicap accessible. I guess they have never been on crutches...Assholes!

By the time Smithy came back with the car and I fell in it, I just wanted to go home. However, Smithy wasn't going for that and we ended up at The Century 20 Theaters in Daly City. The people working there were much nicer and the ticket guy reassured me that there weren't any stairs, just an escalator and an elevator. I chose the elevator. Of course, the theater we needed to get to was the furthest out of twenty. Oh, and the handicap seats are basically in the front row. However, I got used to the seats real fast. I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend staring at George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Kevin Spacey for an hour and a half, when you feel like shit.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Surgery went well and I think my foot looks pretty good. However, I was very disappointed when the bandages were removed and I could plainly see that the Dr. didn't fix the hammer toe, right next to the big toe. I freaked out, but he reassured me that it will be fixed. He explained that the big fix was the bunion and the hammer toe will only take 15 minutes with a local and I'd be able to walk on it the same day. Unfortunately, that won't be done until this is healed in two months. He also told me that I will be using crutches for two months.

Check out the pictures, he had to cut into three different places on my foot. I believe bones were broken, rotated, shaved, and pushed into the correct places.

One Week After Surgery

Bruising By The Ankle

The View From My Doctor's Office

Kidra Taking Off The Bandages

Kidra Getting Closer

No Swelling

The Yellow is the Adhesive, the Purple Marks Incisions, The Red is Blood

He Forgot To Fix The Hammer Toe
(The purple on the big toe is bruising from the bandage being too tight)